Set immediately after "Chapter Six" by ROB THOMAS.
Set immediately after "Chapter Six" by ROB THOMAS.
INT. CHAMP & TREVOR'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
ANGLE ON the dinner table. An open box with the remains of a super - jumbo pizza. Empty bottles of soda, empty plates. The dinner wasn't fancy, but it was copious. In the background WE HEAR "The Wizard of Oz" on TV.
You know, anyone who dropped by and discovered us in this position would have more than a good premonition of what would happen next.
And what's that?
The usual, considering the way you're sitting on that couch.
And the usual would be what, exactly?
WE PAN AROUND to discover Trevor and Claire, sitting
on the couch, watching the movie. Claire is on one
side of the couch, Trevor on the other. Colin, the
dog, is sitting between them.
NOTE: Claire has a new haircut.
Look at us Claire, we look exactly like the picture perfect suburban-married-for-seven-years couple!
We've come home from work exhausted, had dinner delivered, and we're now spending the end of the evening without exchanging a word, the traditional family dog forming a wall between us. Even if you're pretending to watch the movie you're secretly trying to recall the last time I told you that you were beautiful. Our relationship is a disaster. We haven't made love in weeks. You don't wear lipstick to entice me at night like you used to. I don't shave, I stay out late three nights a week. You wonder if I don't have a mistress. I don't, but I'm thinking about the seven year itch, you know. I might just decide to see my secretary once a week. One day you discover us in bed and you file for divorce. You win custody. I'm allowed to see the children once every two weeks and we become one more divorced couple in the national statistics.
Very optimistic! Somewhat out of character though!
That was a metaphor, Claire. You and Alex were traveling on that exact road. He may have matched many of the criteria on your list, but there's a saying that's been going around for thousands of years amongst the Amazons: "Stay away from reporters, Pulitzer prize winners and men with great haircuts." Of course Amazons stay away from men altogether so --
Weren't you the one saying that you had professional interests in salvaging that relationship?
Trevor gets up and heads for the kitchen.What can I say... I'm a good loser!
(off Claire's look)
Okay, I'm not. But nothing is lost.
All you have to do now is get back on the love-Bahn at 100mph, hair in the wind, foot on the gas, flying your way up to the moon!
He shoves something into the microwave and clicks the start button.
There's my bead!
Why am I here? With you, of all the people I know?
Who else do you know that can sing, dance and make you laugh at the same time?
Trevor executes a little dance. He's singing, rubbing his stomach and tapping his head at the same time. Claire finally lets go and laughs.
Here you go! Besides, you needed a good night out to celebrate your new haircut. A dreamy land filled with Hollywood songs, faked-plywood-flying houses, dying witches, flying monkeys, lots of bad guys, and --
Trevor opens the microwave. Takes a popcorn bag, throws the content in a big bowl.
Admit it, there's nothing like an old movie to help a mourning heart. Or is it still mourning?
Trevor sits and puts the bowl on his lap. He takes some pieces of popcorn and throws them in the air, catching them in his mouth. He gets them all.
You didn't see what you think you saw.
You were close enough to figure out his DNA from his saliva!
We weren't that close!
Claire extends a hand on Trevor's lap to take some popcorn. Trevor sketches a content smile. Claire doesn't notice what her gesture might mean.
CLOSE ON TV
There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...
BACK TO SHOT
My favorite line.
Isn't that ironic! It doesn't even come from a romantic movie. There's no romance in the Wizard of Oz.
Trevor clicks off the TV with the remote control.
What - What are you doing? You're the one who talked me into seeing this film, won't you even let me watch the end?
Too depressing! The problem with her home is that it's in black and white! It's drab. No color. No life. No dwarves singing like castras.Why would she want to leave Dreamland?
Because she wants to be with her family.
No one believes her in black and white.
Are you trying to draw a parallel to your own life?
Toto and I are kinda' stuck here. I'm tired of dreaming about that day when my beads will all be on the good side. I've got to take some action. Be master of my destiny --
That's actually one of the sanest things you've said this evening.
Got to put more people together and go back home.
You really are persistent in that delusion. May be time to change the record.
Admit it! How can I possibly return to my palace on Mount Olympus if I continue to pour liquid all day? I've got to find another means!
Why is it I'm under the impression that you've already found one?
Because you've played before. Look--
Trevor digs the Sun Times out from under a cushion of the couch. He opens it and shows her an article on the page opposite her column.
INSERT ON ARTICLE : Sun Times' Annual Matchmaking Contest.
You're not serious?
Is there any reason why I shouldn't register? It's a thousand dollars prize. I could use that. Plus an internship for one month at the uh...
Looks closer -
"Forever One" agency.
(reads from advertising notice)
The only dating service in Chicago that guarantees a perfect match.
(looking at Claire)
Could be tempting. Could be my ticket home.
Why don't you try clicking your heels together? Could be quicker.
FADE TO BLACK
INT. CLAIRE'S TOWNHOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT
Claire comes home. We hear someone hammering in her bedroom. She looks at her watch. Frowns. Climbs the stairs.
INT. CLAIRE'S BEDROOM - LATE NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
She walks in the bedroom. Frank is almost finished with the closet.
What are you doing here? Have you any idea what time it is?
Not looking. Still banging.
Late? It's one o'clock in the morning! What are you doing hammering?
What are you doing here, period?
You weren't here. I'm a night person. I work better in the silence.
Frank bangs on the nail a little more. Claire watches him trying to make some sense of that answer.
And the neighbors?
Oh, they stopped banging on the wall two hours ago. It's fine.
Frank starts to sand the area around the nail. A last touch.
No, it's not fine. I never let you believe that you could come in whenever you wanted.
Frank looks at her for the first time.
You gave me your key.
I don't know why I did that.
Sure you do. Because you trust me.
Claire hesitates. She is definitely under his spell and tries to fight it.
Well, I want it back. And I want you to leave right now!
Frank slowly takes his things and prepares to leave.
You won't need your electric blanket tonight.
Frank heads toward the door.
Frank leaves. Claire looks at the mess he left and sighs. She hears the door downstairs. Sits on the bed. Realizes he left without giving the key back.
INT. CLAIRE'S BEDROOM - MORNING
It's 8:00 on the clock near Claire's bed. Claire opens her eyes. She sees colors everywhere in her room. On the wall, the plastic which was covering the glass window has been removed. Claire is in awe. The glass is a work of art. She looks up. Frank is there standing in the door frame. He's not moving as if he's been observing her for a while. He's holding a paper bag in his hands. Claire makes a movement to cover herself.
What are you doing here?
I don't know what you took last night, but it hit you right on the head.
A flying house... I mean, I didn't get much sleep.
Neither did I. Still, I came to do the varnish on the door. Do you want me to come back later?
No, just let me get dressed.
Frank doesn't move. Claire motions for him to leave the room, which he does. As soon as Claire opens the closet door, the glass window illuminates her clothes with thousands of colors. Claire is bewitched.
Claire looks at the closet, then at the glass window, then at Frank who has just reappeared within the door frame.
You actually though about that when you made the hole in the wall?
You asked for a closet, didn't you?
This is beautiful.
Frank shrugs, humbly. Claire suddenly feels bad about the whole situation.
Uh-- I still haven't got the chance to tell you how sorry I was about dinner the other night. Trevor is... It's hard to get hold of him sometimes.
You don't have to give me any explanations.
I'm not-- I just-- Well I guess I want to apologize. It was a great dinner and I had a good time.
Listen, I know I may have loosen up a little. I'm sorry about that.
Claire waves the rest. They look at each other silently. Finally, Frank breaks the tension.Oh, that's ... that's okay ... I mean... I was--
I've got a job to finish.
I found this on your porch.
Off Claire's look we CUT TO:
INT. CHAMP & TREVOR'S APARTMENT - MORNING
A HAND reaches for the refrigerator door. On the door a paper has been stuck with duck tape, it reads: "WALK THE DOG!" The hand reaches inside the refrigerator and takes out the milk. A paper is stuck there too, it reads: "LAST TIME I TELL YOU." The hand puts the milk back as if nothing happened and closes the refrigerator door.
ANGLE TO REVEAL TREVOR
As we see him shrug and pull a styro-foam cup of coffee from a paper bag on the counter.
INT. CLAIRE'S TOWNHOUSE - MORNING
CLOSE ON a similar cup of coffee. PULL BACK to reveal Claire holding the cup and sitting on the couch. A paper bag is on the table nearby. The bell RINGS.
EXT. CLAIRE'S TOWNHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
MRS. GALIANI retrieves her hand from the door bell. She is an old lady with a very thick Italian accent, very feminine and still very beautiful for her advanced age. She is accompanied by MR. COX, who is about the same age.
I couldn't sleep last night because of you.
A good night sleep isn't going to make you look younger anyway.
You're 80 years old! A good night sleep is not going to remove those bags you have under your eyes.
I'm not 80! I'm 79!
What's the difference anyway?
A year more to live when you'll be dead!
INT. CLAIRE'S HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Claire opens the door. Mrs. Galiani and Mr. Cox come in.
Oh dear! Mr. Cox here has something he wants to tell you.
Me? Why don't you tell her yourself. Why is it always me who has to say what's wrong?
At this moment, Frank comes down the stairs.
Oh, I see you have company. I don't want to disturb you.
Oh, no. That's not company, it's my carpenter.
I'm not really hers yet!
I mean he's doing some work for me upstairs. How- - how can I help you?
So you were the one banging on the wall last night?
(to Mr. Cox)
See, I told you no one was dead!
He wanted to call the cops.
I never said I'd call the cops, I was just afraid something bad had happened.
You all right, sweetheart?
Yes, of course.
See, you old gramps, you got me worried for nothing!
Me? You're the one who called me at 10:30 screaming on the phone, saying that someone was attacking our Claire.
I was not screaming.
Yes, you were, like always.
Mrs. Galiani is my landlady and lives on the left. Mr. Cox is my neighbor and lives on the right.
Are you married?
Will you stop that?
(explaining to Frank)
She's always trying to match up everyone. She's the worst matchmaker I've ever seen.
I'm not! I might just be able to help him, that's all. Like Claire. She is such a dear child, it's not normal that she's not married yet. She needs a man who has the guts to propose to her.
Mrs. Galiani, I'm fine.
Fine? How can you say such a thing? That last scum bag chose a city over you. My dear, he didn't deserve you.
And you, young man, take the lesson. When you find the right woman, don't run away. Don't wait to marry her!
(looking at Mr. Cox)
That's a lesson more men need to learn!
Well I am happy to see that everything is fine here. I'm tired now, I haven't been sleeping well... so if you'll excuse me, I'll go catch up on some beauty sleep.
Off Claire and Frank blushing faces.
INT. SUN TIMES RECEPTION OFFICE - MORNING
Trevor opens the door. It's 8:58 on the clock hanging on the wall. On the reception desk: a name plate that reads the name Heidi. Heidi, the receptionist, is on the phone talking to a friend. High hair. Puffy. Too much make-up. Trevor comes to the reception desk and proudly -
I'm here to register for the contest!
It's not 9:00 yet.
He was talking with her. Her! She's trying to steal him from me. I've got to--
Don't you have a card or something I could fill out to start with?
Heidi puts a registration card in front of him.
And she was wearing this gross outfit with feathers on it. Who does she think she is, an angel?
INSERT ON CARD It's a typical registration card. Name - birth date - address - job etc. Trevor looks at the card, confused.
The problem is that he doesn't see me as he used to.
It's like I don't exist anymore. He never listens to my needs.
(to Trevor, impatiently)
What do you want?
Showing clock on the wall:
It's nine now and I can't possibly answer all these questions.
Really? Too hard for you?
Do you really need all this information? I mean it's only a contest. I'm not being investigated by the IRS.
Heidi rolls her eyes.
I'll call you right back!
She hangs up, takes the card and starts to read.
Birth date? I guess you can come up with an answer for that one, can't you?
That's a hard one. Mom and dad used to celebrate it on the fifth full moon of each year...
Heidi rolls her eyes again. She's used to seeing weird people coming to register for this contest.
Lets leave it blank then.
I'm not stupid you know?
Of course! Now what about your matchmaking skills?
(still talking very slowly)
How many couples have you successfully put together?
You mean here?
(under her breath)
I don't know. Billions of them. I didn't use to count.
She writes the answer down.
I'm the best matchmaker of all time!
Yeah, yeah. They all say that each year.
She stamps the card, gives a stub to Trevor.
Keep this. The contest starts at noon on Saturday. Try to be there 15 minutes early.
Trevor pockets the stub and leaves. Right away he pokes his head back through the door frame.
About your boyfriend? Why don't you try aphrodisiacs... something to knock him off his feet. Or better... jealousy is always a big pay-off. Nothing like seeing your gal making out with a stranger to make you think straight again.
Heidi looks at Trevor puzzled. PULL BACK to reveal Mrs. Galiani who is sitting on a chair nearby, patiently waiting for her turn. She's been listening to the whole conversation and is obviously very intrigued by Trevor.
INT. TAGGERTY'S - MORNING
What a beautiful day, my darlin'
The sun is up and shinin'
The god of love is comin'
But far from here is goin'
He sees Linda by the bar and grabs her by the hips to make her twirl like a doll. Linda giggles.
I told you too much caffeine isn't good for you.
A whole cup of coffee will never beat a wonderful sip of Ambrosia. I take what I can. So how's the beautiful and glowing Linda today?
Dealing with a crisis I'm afraid.
She points to the counter where a POOR SAP who's just been dumped is already drowning his despair in alcohol. Mrs. Galiani, enters the bar and silently sits on a stool nearby. Trevor grabs his apron and approaches the bar. Poor Sap glares at him.
It's all your fault. I never should have listened to you.
What happened? I left you two months ago sitting on a branch in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G-ing ... and now I find you perched on a stool, drinking yourself to death?
Wasn't man enough for her. She likes them more... I don't know. But she doesn't like them like me.
Look, it seems like the end of the world now, but all it takes is for one woman to catch your attention again and you'll forget all about Nina.
You said she was the one.
Well, sometimes the one doesn't like that title and asks a second one to take over. Just get into it. Be a predator again. Choose your prey and jump on it.
That's a hell of a tip.
(to Poor Sap)
I wouldn't put too much faith in it though. Cry on it, live through it and give me a call.
(she gives him her card)
I'll see what I can do.
Poor Sap looks at Mrs. Galiani hopefully, takes the card in his hands.
Who are you?
I'm the best matchmaker in this town.
Off Trevor's incredulous look.
INT. TAGGERTY'S - MORNING
The scene continues where we left off. Trevor looks at Mrs. Galiani with interest. Poor Sap pockets the card.
Well, thanks. I'll think about it.
Poor Sap leaves. Trevor leans over the bar to look Mrs. Galiani in the eyes. Very curious.
Do I know you?
I don't think so. But I know you. You're the gentleman who's always coming to Claire's. Buying bubbles, leaving gifts, paper bags...
And you are?
Henrietta Galiani. I'm Claire's landlady.
He looks at her with interest.
Aren't you more of a bridge or poker fan? I've never seen you around.
I've got to see who my competition is. You've entered the matchmaking contest, right?
I just came to tell you that I will win this contest.
Trevor smiles. This old lady has a lot of nerve. She's sassy and he loves it.
Win the contest! You just blew it with that poor guy. How are you planning to win?
I didn't blow it. He'll call.
Right "I'll think about it" is so favourable. That's the line they use to get rid of you.
When I win that contest, you'll see that I'm not kidding.
Trevor looks at her a little anxiously and suddenly grabs his coat.
Excuse me, I need to talk to someone right now.
INT. CHAMP'S BEDROOM - MORNING
Champ is sound asleep in his bed, sheets partially covering his head. The door opens with a CREAKING SOUND. Champ opens one eye, covers his head again and turns his back to the door. Little steps on the wooden floor are heard.
Whatever it is... the answer is no until I've got a cup of coffee.
No answer. Steps are coming closer.
Sometimes I can understand why they needed a break from you up there. Don't insist, it's no. N-O, NO!
Suddenly something jumps on the bed, forcing Champ to sit down.
For God's sake!
Champ realizes that Colin is sitting right in front of him, looking at him with bright eyes, mouth opened. Champ shakes is head a few times.
Colin looks at him, making little moves to show he needs a walk.
Okay, buddy. But this is the last time. You hear me?
Colin, all excited to see Champ getting up, agrees with his tail.
INT. CLAIRE'S outer OFFICE - MORNING
Trevor puts his hands on Jaclyn's desk. Under his coat he still wears his apron.
Good morning scrumptious! Need to talk to the head doctor here. Is she in?
Just finishing with a patient.
Trevor looks at Jaclyn intently, tempted to play along with her.
I won't be long.
INT. CLAIRE'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Claire is sitting near a patient on the couch. The man is crying his heart out, Claire hands him some Kleenex while patting his back. Trevor BURSTS into the office.
Claire, I need to talk to you.
Trevor I told you not to burst in my office like that.
It's an emergency.
Claire considers the answer and gives the box of tissues to her patient.
I'll be back in 2 minutes.
INT. CLAIRE'S outer OFFICE - CONT'D
Claire closes the door behind her.
What is it?
Your landlady, how good of a matchmaker is she?
She came to Taggerty's earlier--
You are not interrupting a session for this! Are you?
Like what you're doing in there is going to make him feel any better. All you're really doing is helping a Kleenex company climb its way up Wall Street.
I don't have time for this Trevor.
Just answer me this one question. Is she any good?
Why is it so important to you?
Off Trevor's insisting look.
All I know is that she's won every contest organized by the Sun Times in the last ten years.
Well, she won't win this one!
EXT. PARK - MORNING
Champ is walking Colin without a leash. While the dog is happy sniffing a garbage can, Champ walks 15 feet ahead, his hands in his pocket trying to warm them up.
Hey, buddy...what do you say we go inside and have our first cup of coffee?
A WOMAN (LIZZY) coming from behind stops to pat Colin on the head.
You're so cute! What's your name little buddy?
Champ continues to walk without noticing that Colin isn't following him anymore.
So Buddy, what do you say? Had enough? I'm freezing here. Hey buddy, you hear?
Champ turns and sees that Lizzy is patting Colin. Lizzy looks up. Champ remains under the spell for a couple of seconds.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for him to bother you.
It's okay! I love dogs. You shouldn't walk him without a leash though. You could get a ticket!
Well, he's not my dog and he was always pushing forward so...
Champ struggles to find words.
He-- he seems a lot happier without a leash.
They look at each other smiling, a little uncomfortable. There's absolutely some sparks there. Trying to break the tension, Champ proposes:
Do... do you come here often? I mean--
Every morning. Jogging session.
Champ looks at her, but she's not dressed at all like someone coming to the park for jogging.
Right, right. It's kinda cold for jogging though, isn't it?
I'm built though!
Suddenly her eyes catch something in the opposite direction. A silhouette.
It's been nice talking to you, but I've got to go!
It was nice talking to you too!
She smiles to Champ one last time and starts to jog in the direction of the silhouette. Champ remains perplexed, looking at the dog.
INT. TAGGERTY'S - NIGHT
CLOSE ON a banner that reads in red letters: "PRE-MATCMAKING CONTEST NIGHT" . The bar is packed with singles in need to find their true love. Mrs. Galiani and Trevor are at the bar.
Claire and Jaclyn enter the bar.
So how's your carpenter?
He's not mine... I mean. The closet is... It's--
Claire folds. Lies won't do it. Taking Jaclyn in confidence.
He did an incredible job, Jaclyn. It's worth way much than what I'm paying him for.
You think he's expecting something out of you?
So a carpenter working in your bedroom in the morning, shirtless, sweating. That's every woman fantasy.
Alex just dumped me. I'm on the rebound. I'm certainly not going to listen to my hormones just because he has blue eyes.
You're afraid it might only be physical?
As Jaclyn finishes her sentences they both reach the bar.
TREVORPhysical? With Claire? Try brainy instead.
CLAIREThe one element that you're clearly lacking.
Mrs. Galiani observes the dynamic between Claire and Trevor and sketches a content smile.
TREVOROkay, now, before we get into some gushing banter, let's start that pre-contest.
(facing Mrs. Galiani)
(sure of herself)I'm always ready.
Trevor looks at her a little preoccupied, but still very confident that he'll win.
ANGLE ON Mrs. Galiani. She is sitting at a table in one corner of the bar. An old cup filled with red liquid is placed right in front of her.
MRS. GALIANII come from a little village in the north of Italy. We've had a tradition for hundreds of years. One meant to test true love. It never fails. I'm the only one left to know its secrets. Would anyone do me the honor to try my matchmaking method?.
TREVORWhat do you call it?
(proudly)The cup of love.
MRS. GALIANII'm sorry?
TREVORMust be someone else's invention. But any trick is good. How do you do this one?
MRS. GALIANITwo people sit opposite each other. The cup, filled with a secret love potion, sits between them. They both take a sip and look at each other, eye to eye, and the first one who breaks the eye contact drinks another sip. When the cup is empty people who are truly meant to be together will know it. Eyes never lie, do they?
CLAIREThat's a very nice tale.
MRS. GALIANIThis no tale. Nah. No tale there. Why don't you try it, you'll see it for yourself?
CLAIREI'm sure it's a very good method, but--
(pointing to Trevor)I'm sure this young man wouldn't mind to try it with you.
Trevor looks at Claire, a cocky smile on his lips.
CLAIRENo, thank you. I'm sure you'll find two people here who will be very happy to try it.
As a matter of fact, two people from the crowd approach the table, offering to be the first couple.
(to Trevor)So the one who matches the most couples wins?
BEGINNING OF MONTAGE
Trevor on one side of the bar has organized a limbo contest.
ANGLE on Trevor as he tries to pep the crowd surrounding him.
TREVORIt all has to do with body expression people. Come on, let's see some skin there! Lower, lower!
The dancers come one after the other trying to pass under the limbo stick. LIMBO GIRL and LIMBO GUY fall on the ground one after the other. Trevor smiles, happy. That's his first couple.
ANGLE ON Mrs. Galiani, talking softly to a young couple in front of her.
ANGLE ON Trevor who's organizing a beer chugging contest. Men against women. Trevor looks worriedly across the room to see:
Mrs. Galiani as the crowd surrounding her becomes bigger. Two couples in the back are already trying the potion and looking at each other intensely.
ANGLE ON Trevor as he gets the few people left surrounding him playing spin the bottle.
ANGLE ON Mrs. Galiani who is pouring some more potion in a cup for a new couple.
People start to leave the bar. Trevor watches LIMBO GIRL and LIMBO GUY They look at each other and both agree silently that it's not working. They go their separate ways.
Some couples surrounding Mrs. Galiani come to her, shake her hands and leave together.
END OF MONTAGE
INT. TAGGERTY'S - LATER
Claire and Jaclyn are sitting on stools, sipping from their drinks. The music is somewhat softer in the background. Less people around. Mr. Cox comes into the bar. He's visibly upset to find Mrs. Galiani at the bar.
MR. COXYou stood me up.
Trevor's eyebrow arches happily at this. Mrs. Galiani, not even facing Mr. Cox, takes another sip from her drink. She's a little tipsy and tries to cover it.
MR. COX (cont'd)The Harrisons tonight. No partner. How do you expect me to play!
MRS. GALIANIYou don't even know how to play poker.
MR. COXIt was bridge.
(suddenly noticing Claire)
(to Mrs. Galiani)
And... are you drunk?
You didn't let her drink too much, right? Her liver is weak.
MRS. GALIANINot as weak as you, cornhead.
Mr. Cox tries to take Mrs. Galiani off her stool.
MR. COXCome on I'll take you home.
Mrs. Galiani protests lightly but is too weak to fight. She falls and Mr. Cox catches her. Trevor leans towards Claire.
TREVORNow, that's physical!
Claire waves the comment away and stands up to help. Mrs. Galiani starts to cough. A bad cough. Mr. Cox takes some pills out of his jacket pocket under his coat.
MR. COXWater please.
Trevor gets the water and Mrs. Galiani takes the pills. She feels better. Everyone sighs, relieved.
MR. COXNow you're not going to put on a show and you'll let me take you home.
Mrs. Galiani is aware that she doesn't have the power to protest. She puts her hand on Mr. Cox's arm and follows him to the door.
(to Trevor)I'm so gonna win this contest. You'll see.
She stumbles and leaves the bar.
CLOSE ON TREVOR, a worried look shadowing his face.
INT. TAGGERTY'S - LATER
The bar is empty, except for Trevor and Claire sitting in a booth. Trevor is deflated, looking gloomily at the red potion in front of him. Claire glances at her watch.
CLAIREWe should probably go.
(attempting a smile)I've got a restraining order over my head. I can't do everything you want me to right now!
CLAIREI meant to our respective homes, Trevor.
CLAIREThis contest, it really means a lot to you, doesn't it?
TREVORI thought they'd see how wrong they were. That I still got it you know?
CLAIREMrs. Galiani is weak, old, she's--
Trevor tastes the potion.
TREVORA fine connoisseur! You should taste this!
CLAIREDon't you ever listen to a word I say?
TREVORSure. Sick, weak, old. Got all that. She's got the stamina of two Minotaurs if you ask me. If I don't do something, she'll win. I mean, look at that. That's serious stuff. Love potion. I never thought about that.
Trevor continues to drink. Licks his lips. This is very good.
TREVORNo seriously, you should try this. What's to fear? She said it herself. Only true love can be revealed by the cup of love.
Claire is going to protest, then thinks about it. This is an occasion to prove Trevor wrong. She takes the cup and drinks from it. Deeply.
TREVORLook at me.
Claire and Trevor are looking at each other. Sizing each other up like two predators. There is definitely some tension here.
Trevor shrugs. He feels way more than what he wants to acknowledge.
TREVORNot a thing. You?
Claire breaks the eye contact and stands up to cover her blushing face.
They both take their coats and leave.
END OF ACT TWO
INT. CLAIRE'S BEDROOM - DAY
CLOSE ON a bag of tools as Frank is putting back his tools in the bag. PULL BACK to reveal that the closet is finished.
CLAIREDo you...... Do you have another contract now that you're finished here?
Frank looks at her with deep blue eyes.
FRANKAm I finished here?
Claire is completely under the spell of his eyes.
CLAIREYes. I mean......unless......
CLAIREUnless you ......
Claire stops in mid-sentence. This is too weird of an idea. Frank rummages in his shirt pocket and takes out a little box. He hands it to Claire.
(not sure what to think)Oh......
CLAIREI...... I can't accept it. I mean we don't even know each other...
(with a large smile, sure of himself)Open it, you'll like it.
Claire opens the box and takes out a beautiful long-shaped crystal with a cord attached to the top. Frank hangs it on a nail on the ceiling of the closet. The crystal reflects the light from the window glass like a thousand stars.
CLAIRE (cont'd)It's beautiful!
FRANKSo are you. This room needed to reflect you a little more.
(blushing)I actually thought......
It looked like, uh --
FRANKMost things can look a certain way in a certain light, but there are as many perspectives as there are many kinds of lights. Right?
CLOSE ON CLAIRE as she takes this in, definitely moved.
INT. CHAMP & TREVOR'S APARTMENT - DAY
Champ comes home from a walk with Colin. He is horrified to find out that the apartment is an absolute mess. On the floor, a wooden stick catches Colin's attention and he jumps on it, away with him some Christmas decorations that are lying around. Champ picks up one of the Christmas decorations and frowns. Trevor, as if answering Champ's silent question, enters in the living room closing the doors from his bedroom behind him frantically.
Trevor is wearing a tuxedo - way too big for him - most likely coming from Champ's closet. Trevor rummages through some more drawers, putting more stuff on the ground.
CHAMPTrevor, what's this?
(nervously)The contest. I've got to find something.
Champ tries to take the wooden stick from Colin's mouth, but Colin takes it as an invitation to play and runs away with it. Champ looks at Trevor, waiting for a better explanation.
CHAMPDo I really have to ask? The apartment is a mess. What are you looking for?
Trevor looks in the garbage can, opens the refrigerator, closes it. Sighs.
TREVOROkay. There it is. There's a matchmaking contest on Saturday. I need - - I need to win it! Now I've got to find the best way to get the first prize.
(showing Christmas decorations)Christmas decorations?
TREVORNah! At first, I thought it would be a good idea to add colors, but--
(disbelieving)So what? There's a contest...... and you're nervous about it? Is that possible? I thought you were the one and only God of Love in the entire universe. Who could beat you?
Trevor starts to hunt in the kitchen drawers.
TREVORI won every matchmaking contest that was ever organized in Olympus. I figure that if they see me win this one as well they'll take me home, you know. They'll understand that this punishment has to end ...... If I want to win it I've got to find something to help me though.
Suddenly looking at Champ, getting an idea.
TREVOR (cont'd)Or someone!
CHAMPOh, no! You promised me.
TREVORI'll clean the mess!
CHAMPYou'll clean the mess anyway!
TREVORI promise never to throw things from the drawer on the ground without your permission!
Champ pouts. That's not going to do it.
TREVOR (cont'd)Okay, serious stuff. I'll make your bed for the next six months, I'll pick up the groceries for the next two months--
CHAMPAnd you'll pay for them?
TREVOROkay. Plus as an extra I'll walk the dog all the time.
CHAMPActually, that won't be necessary. I'll walk him!
(suspiciously)Really? You left me notes three times ordering me to do it!
CHAMPWell, if you do the bed, the groceries...... and the laundry, you can leave me the dog.
Trevor looks at Champ intently as if something is wrong.
(then snapping out of his reverie, like a happy child)
So you're my coach?
CHAMPI hate to say it, but yeah!
TREVORWho would have ever believed that I would get advice from a mortal!
So what do we do first?
CHAMPYou could start by giving me back my tuxedo.
TREVORI should get one just like it for the day I go home. It would be nice to get dressed up! You know make a good impression? The prodigal son's return kind of stuff--
CHAMPAnother piece of advice. It's not necessary to push it. Just be yourself. Better. Be simple.
INT. CHAMP & TREVOR'S APARTMENT -- DAY -- LATER
Trevor and Champ are standing near the door to the hallway. The bedroom doors are shut. On one of the doors a poster representing a couple in love is stuck on with some scotch tape. Trevor has a set of darts in his hands.
TREVORSo what do you say coach, should I start with the -
(insisting on the word)
"simple" dart routine?
CHAMPCould you stop calling me "coach"? And what's with the darts?
TREVORIf the contest is anything like what we do back home I need to prove my skills to the judges.
TREVORYeah. Just check this out.
Trevor throws a series of darts very rapidly at the poster. Half of them landed on the man's chest, the other half on the woman's chest.
TREVORNot bad, huh? I've still got the touch, even without much practice lately.
Trevor takes up the darts from the poster and comes back to his position.
TREVOR (cont'd)I could continue with the blindfold routine.
Trevor puts on a blindfold and throws the darts again without missing his target once.
TREVOR (cont'd)I thought I could conclude with a sensational sort of number. The bow and the flaming arrow.
CHAMPFlaming arrow? I don't like the sound of this.
Trevor takes a bow and arrow at his feet and starts to light the torch at the end of the arrow. Champ takes the arrow and puts it in the sink.
TREVORI assure you, it's very effective in the dark.
CHAMPTrevor, don't you think that you're trying a little too hard to impress the judges? They only want to know if you're a good matchmaker. How is throwing pointy objects at a target going to convince them?
TREVOROnce, judges weren't so difficult to please. I remember a particular competition when a simple arrow won me the prize. Of course I aimed at the judge so...
CHAMPTrevor, if you really want to win you'll have to show them something better than that.
TREVORCome on, tell me my skills don't prove to you that I am who I say I am.
CHAMPYour skills prove only one thing: that you could be a hit-man in disguise.
TREVORYe Champoo of little faith! If darts don't do it, I'll have to find another means.
(off Champ's look)
Look deeper into my magic bag and give a carrot to the rabbit.
INT. CLAIRE TOWNHOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY
Frank is putting his coat on.
FRANKBefore leaving, I'd like to ask you one thing. Tell me if I'm out of line here.
Would you like to have coffee with me. Just coffee?
CLAIRE (O.S)No way!
INT. SUN TIMES' RECEPTION - DAY
CLOSE ON a Banner hanging from the ceiling, It reads: "Welcome to the Annual Sun Times Matchmaking Contest". Trevor and Claire enter. Heidi, at the reception, glares at Trevor.
CLAIREMr. Cox and Mrs. Galiani? I see where you're going with this. The love-hate relationship. But even if you see plenty of those in movies or on tv, those rules don't apply in real life.
CLAIREPeople who can't stand each other won't change their minds and madly fall in love overnight.
Trevor shows his stub to the hostess. Claire shows her press card. They enter.
INT. MATCHMAKING CONTEST ROOM -DAY
TREVORThey don't need to change anything, 'cause it's already there. They just need a little push.
CLAIREI've seen the kind of push you're giving. It's more like helping a blind man crossing a street full of cars. A frogger game. It's not a good idea.
Mr. Cox comes from the left.
TREVORMr. Cox! Just the man I wanted to talk to!
Claire spots Champ and leaves in his direction. Trevor puts his arm around Mr. Cox and leads him slowly towards Mrs. Galiani.
(waving at Mrs.Galiani)She's quite a fiery and passionate women. Very beautiful.
MR.COXShe's the most pig-headed woman I've ever met.
TREVORShe also seems to be pretty good with her potion thingy. Did you ever try it?
MR.COXThe potion is a hoax. Grenadine, some exotic flavor. All show off.
(beat / suddenly losing his poker face and showing his real feelings)
Truth is she's sick and she won't acknowledge it. That contest takes too much energy from her.
(innocently)And I thought you were enemies and all! You always have those bickering fights over nothing.
MR.COXShe's a real pain in the ass, but I've known her for 60 years. Even if she gets on my nerves, that doesn't mean I wish her ill.
TREVORWell you could still try to convince her to go home couldn't you?
Heidi, the receptionist, approaches Trevor. She's accompanied by BILL. Bill taps Trevor on the shoulder. Trevor spins around to face deadly eyes.
BILLYou're the one who told my fiancÚ she should make me jealous?
Trevor recognizes Heidi.
TREVORYes. It worked, didn't it? Back on the track?
BILLI've got some advice for you. In the future, mind your own business.
ANGLE ON Trevor as we see a fist lined up to punch his face.
END OF ACT THREE
INT. MATCHMAKING CONTEST ROOM - DAY - CONTINUED
Trevor falls to the floor. When he opens his eyes he sees a BLURRY VISION (kinda like the one in "Heaven...... he's in heaven".)
BLURRY VISIONYou never learn do you?
You came to take me home? You're ending this nightmare?
BLURRY VISIONThat guy's right. So is your roomie. Is that all you've got to show? Tricks?
TREVORNo. I mean... I thought you'd give me back my magic. I just want to get out of here.
BLURRY VISIONYou wanted that old woman out of the contest. That's pathetic. That's what you're reduced to?
TREVORI Just wanted you to see I was worthy, that I was the best.
BLURRY VISIONThat's all you care about? You? What about those couples you're supposed to help?
TREVORI can't do it as fast as I thought. I need time.
BLURRY VISIONTime you have. They don't.
TREVORBut how long are you going to leave me alone here?
(enigmatically)Oh, you're not alone!
The Blurry Vision disappears only to be replaced by Frank.
CLAIREA guy came, punched Trevor in the face and walked out.
Are you alright?
(feeling his head)I don't know. I think so.
What is he doing here?
Frank and Claire look at each other.
CLAIREAfter the contest we're going out for a cup of coffee.
(shushing Trevor who's about to protest)
Not in your jurisdiction. Now who was that man?
Trevor stands up.
TREVORMy mistake. I gave his fiancÚ some bad tips.
Mrs. Galiani takes Trevor apart from the others.
MRS.GALIANIWatch your mouth next time young man. Some people are just ill equipped to accept some forms of advice. You're good, but you're afraid to let your feelings overwhelm you. Unless you let love touch you, you will never really understand it.
TREVORI know what love is.
MRS.GALIANIReally? You don't need to lie to me. I might be old, but I'm not dense.
Trevor looks sideways to see Claire and Frank talking.
MRS. GALIANILove is right in front of you, if you're willing to accept it.
(looking at Mr. Cox)It's been right in front of you for half a century and you never let it in either.
(flustered)I don't know what you're talking about.
(smiling)Yes, you do.
HOSTESSTrevor looks around him nervously. About twenty square tables have been set up all around the room. He comes near Champ.Ladies and gentlemen, we will begin the contest in a few minutes. I would ask all the contestants to choose their table.
TREVORTable? What kind of a contest is this? As a coach you're suppose to train me. Give me advice. What should I do?
TREVORAdvice can be plural you know!
Trevor looks at him sideways.
HOSTESSThis year's contest will focus on your ability to counsel people in a short amount of time. We've got many volunteers who will come to you and rate your advice on a scale from 1 to 10. The more points you get, the better chance you have of winning. Be quick, direct and honest. Now contestants, let's begin the Annual Sun Times Matchmaking Contest! Good luck to all of you.
Trevor chooses a table and looks up at his first volunteers. It's Bill and Heidi. Bill sits down in front of him and smiles smugly.
(under his breath)Oh, great!
BILLYou know what? You won't win this contest. You wanna know why?
TREVORBecause you like colors and find that my right eye doesn't match my left?
BILLNo, because I won't leave this table until you've given us some good advice to save our relationship. You're the expert? Cut the crap and prove us what you can really do.
Trevor gets the point and is ready to take the challenge.
Mrs.Galiani at her table is all business. She's dealing quite quickly with the volunteers who approach her.
CLOSE ON the scores: Trevor has 0, Mrs.Galiani, 15, other contestants follow with marks between 3 and 10. Pan around a few table as we see the contestants talking to their volunteers.
ANGLE ON MRS.GALIANI as she wears a shining smile while looking at the scores.
CLOSE ON the scores: Trevor has 0, Mrs.Galiani, 36, other contestants follow with marks between 15 and 29.
ANGLE ON TREVOR
BILLI'm a pilot.
BILLShe's a receptionist. It's not like we have a lot in common anyway.
TREVORCommonalities are not always the way to go, you know?
Trevor looks quickly at Claire.
Champ, Mr.Cox, Frank and her are in the middle of the room watching what's going on. Claire shows the scores to Champ.
CLAIREZero! What was your advice?
CHAMPHe won't win the contest, but if he follows my advice he'll win a lot more than a thousand dollars.
ANGLE ON TREVOR
TREVORSo you started looking elsewhere right?
BILLI didn't cheat. I don't cheat. I'm not a cheater.
HEIDIYou looked at her with those eyes.
HEIDIYour dove eyes. All lovey-dovey.
BILLShe's a colleague Heidi, I have to look at her when I talk to her.
TREVOROkay Bill...... let's not start that all over again. Focus people. Focus.
Trevor looks sadly at the score board. He's still at 0, while Mrs. Galiani has 75 points. The nearest contestant has 60 points. Trevor sighs and comes back to his discussion.
(to Heidi)So you like his eyes?
HEIDIThat's the first thing I noticed about him. Two oceans in which I could dive all night long.
(suddenly touched)You like my eyes?
HEIDII used to read your eyes like an open book.
Trevor smiles. He's on the god path.
ANGLE ON Mrs.Galiani.
A volonteer shakes her hand and leaves the table. Mrs.Galiani looks at the board and notices that she has 102 points, Trevor is still at zero and a certain Mr. Reddy has 125 points. Mrs.Galiani looks at Mr.Cox, anxious.
TREVORLove is a work of art, always in progress. Sometimes, you're focusing so much on the details that you just don't see the big picture anymore. You just have to take few step back and look again. Find back all those things you used to love to do together.
HEIDIYou remember when you used to bring me with you in the cockpit? We'd ride all night long, looking at stars.
BILLWe can still do it, love, you know?
HEIDISo why don't we do it anymore?
BILLI thought you didn't want to. I though you didn't like my job.
HEIDIWell I do.
Trevor looks at the scores: he's still at 0. Mrs.Galiani has 116 and Mr Reddy 138. Trevor glances at Mrs.Galiani. She is pale and is not looking well. She's starting to cough.
So what do you say, why don't you go vote and give me a shred of dignity? A one would be good. Just something.
Bill and Heidi look at each other, smiling.
Mrs. Galiani continues to cough. A very bad cough. Mr.Cox comes running at her, puts some pills on her tongue put she spits them out with another cough. Finally, unable to breathe she falls to the ground, unconscious.
ANGLE ON Frank as he comes nearby. Before anyone has the time to notice what's happening he begins to administer CPR.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM -- DAY
DR. PLUMI can't explain what happened, but what I can say is that Mrs. Galiani is in very good shape. In better shape than ever.
(to Frank)You saved her young man. Thank you.
(humble)I just happened to be there.
Trevor motions Claire, Frank and Champ to follow him outside. Mr.Cox remains alone with Mrs Galiani.
MRS.GALIANIAnd now what? I'm waiting to die, with an old grunting man by the side of my bed!
MR.COXDidn't you hear Henrietta? You're fine! You're more than fine. Your lungs seem to have recovered totally! Aren't you happy. That's the best news I've heard in a long time.
Mrs.Galiani pouts, adjusting her blankets.
MRS.GALIANIWhy did all the young people left the room to leave you with me?
MR.COXYou know you frightened me to death.
MR.COXAnd I've realized that you were very dear to me. More than I ever wanted to admit.
MR.COXI love you Henrietta.
Mrs.Galiani looks at him, waiting for more. After a beat-
MRS.GALIANIThat's all you've got to say?
(desperatly searching for something else to say)Yes.
Mrs.Galiani pouts some more and covers her head with her bedsheets.
MRS.GALIANII need some beauty sleep now. Please leave me alone.
MR.COXHenrietta...... I just told you that I love you.
MRS.GALIANII know, I heard. I'm just very tired now. I want to rest.
Mr.Cox stands up and walks to the door.
INT. TAGGERTY'S - NIGHT (A FEW DAYS LATER) The bar is packed.
Mrs.Galiani, Mr.Cox and Claire are sitting at the bar. Trevor and Champ are on duty behind the bar.
MRS.GALIANIIf I hadn't collapsed, I would have knocked them dead.
(to Mr.Cox)And you? You still have nothing to say to me?
MR.COXWhat do you want me to say?
The sound of a PLANE can be heard.
CLAIRESo, Trevor, what did you do with the money you didn't win?
TREVORI got 10 points instead! I'm richer than ever.
CLAIREMatchmaking has made you all philosophical now, has it?
TREVORI'm not used to getting an epiphany when I look for a carrot in my magic bag.
Claire doesn't understand. The sound of the plane can be heard very loud.
(looking up)Perfect, right on time!
Trevor rolls a sheet of paper and using it as a megaphone.
(shouting)Come on everybody, outside! I've got a surprise for you all!
Claire shrugs. She's convinced it's not going to work, but patrons get on their feet, put on their coats and do just as Trevor asked.
CLAIREHow can he have a crowd follow his every word so easily?
CHAMPWhatever he has planned right now...... eveyone is ready to believe it, that's for sure.
EXT. TAGGERTY'S - NIGHT
(MUSIC UP: "There's a ribbon in the sky.")
LYRICS For so long for this night I prayed / That the stars would guide you my way......
Trevor looks at Mr.cox purposefully. Mr.cox nods and reaches in his coat pocket. He retrieves a little box. The music continues as the plane is coming over Taggerty's.
LYRICS To share with me this special day......
Everyone looks up at the plane. An illuminated banner is floating in the wind: "Baby, will you marry me?"
LYRICS There's a ribbon in the sky for our love......
Claire looks up at the plane and down at Trevor.
LYRICS If allowed may I touched your hand / and if pleased, may I once again
CLAIREI know you said you'd do it, but do you really think it will work?
TREVORWho knows? Does it?
Trevor shows the banner as a silent question to Claire.
CLAIRE (cont'd)Oh, no!
(shrugs)Don't ever say I didn't ask!
LYRICS So that you too will understand / there's a ribbon in the sky for our love......
Henrietta looks up, then lowers her eyes on Mr.Cox.
MRS.GALIANIJames, you didn't have to put on a show to ask me to marry you. It's yes!
They kiss. Multicolored balloons fall from the plane. Once the balloons fall on the ground, it's general mayhem. Cars honk from everywhere. Frank arrives and Claire smiles at him. Mrs.Galiani comes near Trevor.
MRS.GALIANII know you did this. You really didn't have to.
TREVORDon't worry, the pilot is a friend of mine. He gave me a discount!
MRS. GALIANIWe have different methods Trevor, but I'm happy to see that matchmaking isn't going to die with me!
Trevor looks at Claire and Frank. Claire is giggling lightly, while Frank is playing with balloons.
MRS.GALIANIYou were right about me and James. But one day you'll realize I was right too about you!
(to Claire)I know this nice restaurant where...
Mrs.Galiani joins Mr.Cox and both look at Claire and Frank.
(re: Frank)He's a good young man, but what a bad match! I don't give them a month!
Pull back to reveal Trevor looking at Mrs.Galiani and Mr.cox with a genuine smile arching over his lips. Trevor then looks at Claire and Frank for a few seconds, unsure about how he feels. The music continues.
LYRICS This is not a coincidence / and far more than a lucky chance / but what is that was always meant / there's a ribbon in the sky for our love......
Finally Trevor smiles, looking around him, satisfied. The plane is still hovering in the sky. Balloons are blocking the circulation. POLICE SIRENS can be HEARD in the distance. Patrons from Taggerty's still look up with amazement. Happy, Trevor comes back inside. We remain on Trevor a few moments, his solitude a sharp contrast with the animation outside until we:
FADE TO BLACK