Trevor shook his head. "You just
don't see it, Claire. You help people everyday. Why can't you help yourself? For
months and months you searched for me, and when you finally find me, you back
away. Why? Why can't you accept how you feel about me?"
"About you?" she shot back. There was a hurt in her eyes,
an anger in her voice. "Who are you, Trevor? Tell me... What am I in love with?
A fantasy... A delusion. That's not good enough for me anymore. I'm not like
you, Trevor. I can't live my life chasing mirages. I have to live in the real
world. A world where there are just some things I can't risk anymore. Places
deep inside me, that I just can't let hurt again. They've been hurt
Trevor blinked. "Why? Why
does it hurt to simply accept me the way that I am?"
Still angry, Claire lowered her eyes. "You are not Cupid,
Trevor. That's just one memory loss replaced with another. It's a fantasy and
it's all in your head."
trying to lighten the mood. "Or maybe it's all in your head. What if you're
imagining me and I don't really exist?"
She shuddered. "There's one disturbing thought... But you're still
"Because maybe we have to accept that there's
no such thing as fairy tales and happily ever after. You can't be this, Trevor!
no matter how much you want to be..."
His face softened. "I can't be anything else. I am this. Maybe I need
Frustrated, she exhaled.
"And what then? Let's say you are Cupid. Let's just throw the last bit of sanity in
either of us to the wind and imagine it's true. Tell me. Do you honestly think
the gods are just going to magically approve of you falling in love with a
Trevor didn't look away
from her, certainty in his features. "I don't care. You may not believe it, but
there are risks on my side too. The difference is, I accept them. Becasue the
only true power is love, Claire. The gods knew it. The gods feared it. They
hated that I had that power of them. That's why they sent me down here in the
end. After I was shot, I realized that they abandoned me down here quite
possibly to die. With no help, no powers, and ONE rule. A rule I'm willing to
break with you. Even if it kills me"
Annoyed, she tilted her head, looking at him. "This could destroy us
both, Trevor. It could destroy both of us."
"So what! Claire the only way to avoid risk is to stop living! I
don't think us together is so impossible! But you seem to think we're a million
to on shot. Well you know what? I'm willing to take that one. Becasue unlike
you, I'm not afraid to believe."
Claire slowly rose from her chair, turning to face him as she crossed her arms.
Her eyes were moistening, a hopeless sadness in her voice. "Why, Trevor... What
has there ever been that made you think there's any hope for us..."
"Because even if it's a million to one
chance, it's still a chance! A chance you're scared to take."
Her voice was louder. "Why, because I'm not blind to
what's going on around us? What do you expect me to do. What do you want from
"To take the risk!
Don't hide yourself away! Run through the sprinklers, Claire! French your
mailman, rip off your shirt when you score the winning goal! But don't be afraid
to live your life..."
Her voice was
soft, defeated. "If they ever found out about us, Trevor, it would all crash
down. Everything. It would be finished. You wouldn't be free... after the drugs,
you wouldn't even be you. The review board would--"
Trevor stepped closer to her, one die of his face bathed in
light, the coffe bar in the dark behind him. His voice was firm. "This has
nothing to do with the review board, Claire. It has to do with you. You're so
afraid of getting hurt, you run. When I left Chicago--"
Claire closed her eyes.
Trevor continued. "--what was it that you missed? Me? or the part
of you that cared for me. Did you miss me while you were looking for yourself
Claire glared at him
bitterly, stung by something. "What is that supposed to mean?"
There was sympaythy in Trevor's eyes. "That love
isn't about finding someone else. It's about finding those parts of yourself you
never saw through them. Claire... for you love's always been about letting go.
Letting go of Alex, Jack Conathan when he crashed... Letting go of your father
when he left your mother. When is love finally gonna be about holding
Claire's face was hard, eyes
glittering with conviction. "WE... are never going to happen, Trevor. It's time
you realized that. Never. Do you know what never is? Never is hard. Harder than
diamonds, harder than time.. Never is the hardest thing in the world."
He exhaled. "But still not stronger than
love... You're the only one stopping us. Why? You give all these reasons, but
that's not what it's about... You weren't like this before. What changed? What
made you think we were a never?"
Not looking at him, Claire started to pace nervously. "Just drop it,
"I'm not going to drop
"I don't wnat to talk about
really tends to get in the way of lying to yourself."
She stepped towards him angrily. "You want to
"I want to know."
"You really want to know what finally
convinced me that we'll never work? Fine. I'll tell you. The last few months,
Trevor. Because when push came to shove, you forgot me, Trevor."
He gaped in disbelief, feeling unfairly
critiscized. "Hello.. The whole rushing car, massive head injury you conviently
choose to ignore--"
before that, Trevor. Why did you leave Chicago if not to forget me..."
Trevor was speechless, not expecting that.
Claire couldn't bring
herself to look at him, hiding a tear on her cheek. They both stood there alone
in the coffee bar, surrounded by shadows, the citylights glittering through the
window. "You left me, Trevor... I told you I loved you, and the first thing you
did... was leave. When you came back, the next thing you did was forget me.
Maybe because deep down, that's what you really wan so you can go home. You...
LEFT, Trevor. Like Alex did. Like my father... How do I know you won't just
leave me again..."
"You left me! What's
stopping you from walking away right now! This may come as a suprise to an
invulnerable 'god' like yourself but in my case, there's only so much hurt left
in me. Places deep inside that I can't let hurt anymore (see above)."
Trevor could see the anguish in her eyes, the
wound that he had caused. He tried to comfort her, his voice soft, but not
coming closer. "Yes. I left, Claire. But I came back. You still haven't. You're
still running. Truth is, you've been running all your life. I'm not running
She sniffed. "What am I
running from, Trevor?"
all the really important truths. The important ones are the ones you can't
prove. Like love... or hope. They're not tangible. They're not quantifiable. You
can't put them in a box of labeled chocalates. They just are..."
Claire couldn't help but smile at his words, touched by the conviction,
the hopeful certainty in them. She laughed softly to herself.
Trevor nodded, a glint in his eye. "STarting to thaw
out a little, aren't you?"
shrugged. "Maybe just a little... But I still haven't change my mind. You can't
ignore what we both see. What dangers we both see around us. I know you see how
the world really is, Trevor..."
"Maybe. or maybe the world has more room in it than you think. More realities in
the world than you realize. There are miracle that you don't know about
happening every day. Even in this very building..."
CLaire couldn't help but laught softly to herself at his
absolute conviction, looking at him with a sudden fondness. "Oh really... Fine,
Trevor. Show me a miracle."
paused, as if about to say something he knew she would object to. Finally he
smiled, changing his mind. "OK, thus will work too.. Follow me,
The head of the review
board opened his front door, peering out at his doorstep, illuminated from a
light above. Beyond it, a finely kept lawn stretched into the night. A curved
brick driveway intersected it, and a car was parked there. The driver of the car
was standing on his doorstep, staring calmly at him with a dour look on his face
as he waited.
Dr. Frechette didn't
smile. He didn't speak. He just waited. As the two men stood there in the night
air, they both knew why he had come.
The head of the review board knew this had to happen now, Frechette
couldn't be put off any longer, no matter how much he would have prefered that.
He let out a deep sigh, looking at Frechette wearily.
"Come in, Dr. Frechette..."
Without saying a word, Frechette stepped into the house.
The door closed behind the two men, locking
out the driveway and lawn, leaving them silent under the starry night sky the
never noticed even once.
metal door opened slowly, swinging out onto the rooftop of the building with
Cuppa Java inside of it several floors down. Trevor and Claire stepped out onto
the pebbled surface, the same starry night sky stretching above them. Trevor
looked around, his steps crunching confidently forward, familiar with his
surroundings even in the dim shadows created by the city lights all around.
Behind him, Claire followed more cautiously, unfamiliar with where she was,
having never been on the roof of the building before.
"What are we doing up here, Trevor?" she
forward, not lowering his voice. "I'm gonnna show you something. You mean you've
never been up here before?"
blinked, trying to see, careful with her steps in the dark. "Never felt the need
"Oh. Too bad. Guess
you and Alex only preferred coffee bar floors to pebble burn..." He turned,
offering his hand to her. "Come on, this is what I wanted to show
She loked at him reluctantly,
thinking to herself. Then carefully, she placed her hand in his, their fingers
warm against each other. A contented wave coursed through both of them at that
touch. Trevor sighed, her skin soft in his palm. He led Claire to an isolated
spot on the flat rooftob, passing vents and pipes as they moved carefully, in no
rush. The rooftop door grew smaller behind them. Claire started to look around
at their dark surroundings. Her hand was still in Trevor's as she took in all
the city glittering around. The pebbles crunched under their steps.
Trevor stopped in front of several wodden
crates and some chairs that seemed to have been up there for some time, someone
must have hauled them up there. Trevor and Claire's hands seperated now that
they were no longer walking. With a smile, Trevor looked up into the night sky,
craning his head back as he gazed up at the distant stars glittering dimly far
Claire felt a little cold in
the night air, rubbing her arms. But she smiled, watching Trevor's face,
stepping closer to hi side. Finally, she looked up into the sky too, watching
the stars with him, the cool night air moving gently through her hair.